I miss Phnom Penh!

ok, i’m just bored and biased with life here. It’s not a bad place afterall. It’s booming, charming and pretty lively too. Oh i just miss it there.

Will probably update the Angkor Wat page with a little bout combining a day or two in Phnom Penh. Updated pics in Angkor Wat page as well. And my wishlist too.

what kills me

… is when i have all these common flashes of brilliance, of ideas, of imagination, of thoughts of great magnitude and velocity, of a meticulous arrangement of words that would take a lifetime to remember if i do not record it quickly enough, during working hours.

it kills me, over and over and over and over again…

untitled impeachment of this world

there’s a person i know who tries to do too much, far too much from what he is normally capable of and ends up achieving nothing. They said that if you put your mind to something, you can achieve it, if you push it far enough you’ll do it better. A normative statement like that bears as much truth as, maybe like, accountants usually make alot of money? Nah, doesn’t sound right, but you’re starting to understand i hope. Nevertheless, my point being that, each person is an intolerable variable of one another, and co-exists through an unseen compromise. Applying Popper, how do you go about falsifying something as careless and stupidly said as that?

So, subconsciously a bottom lined veil is present in the form of a “present self” and a top end probably looking something like an “intended self”. Extracting a modern description from the excellent Jerry Maguire, it’s possible to love someone for the “man he almost is”. This could go as far out as possible in preaching the eccentrities of an absurd form of beauty, something like a flawed perfection. In the same way raw, unpolished stones can be beautiful and magnetise people with a charm incomprehensible, this oxymoronic expression of a fondness for imperfection cannot be deemed illogical.

Is there a problem not achieving anything, yet knowingly and possibly doing the best you can? If you are not remembered, you do not exist. If there’s a me in every you, then i do exist, possibly in 2 ways, a physical form and an intangible form stemming from the recollections of me in every one of you. The emphasis on action to stake claims on existence is natural. Words, like us, if passed through unheard indicts it as having never been spoken at all. Hurt someone, and you’ll be remembered.

Doing too much and not seeing results is a double blow; you have spent time and resources but have gained nothing in particular, yet there is something scribbled on the board but no one can make sense of what you are trying to do. Plan. Execute. Accomplish. Simple. An inherent variable of life is that not one of us is the same; we wish we are but we are not, and when we do become, we fight to be not. I cannot further stress how beautiful minds can be, without a body and needs to fulfil. Mind and body are one but for our so-called gift of discernment, they are separate for the purposes of passing judgement of good and bad.

We all do as much as we think we can, but are sometimes hopelessly wrong. Ambition can be viewed as a form of failure; a failure to accept. Spare me your thoughts on this, it’s about as impossible to debate as the statement i put forth above so just listen. I could never do as much as the person next to me, or as little as he/she does, or equivalent to whatever the output might be. Mathematics may allow me to make 10 shoes like the person next to me, earn $20,000 p.a like the person in front of me, but not allow me to love the person behind me as much as the person in the southeast corner. I could do as much as i can do, love as much as i love, feel as much as i can feel, understand as much as i can understand so do not question and compare my capacity for life. My appetite for life can only be as big as i want it to be, but people are having each other for lunch nowadays.

I close with a thought; a combination of thoughts if you cared enough. The laws of motion, such as that which is described as “every action has an equal and opposite reaction” being nurtured in the context of the economics of the invisible hand, deals a terrifying effect. If both buying and selling is an action (a separate action i should clarify), and the invisible hand the main mechanism by which the veins of economic life are rolled out and about, will we ever see the equal and opposite reaction?

Almost everything (i dare not say everything just yet) is interlocked in an action of acquisition, and unravelling the net effects of every reaction, whether equal or unequal, opposite or not, can perhaps only be measured by the longevity of the human race. A sustainable future and a sustainable world requires a sustainable attitude and i can barely tolerate this world and myself.