The longest 5 days of my life?

yada yada i’m prepping for what could be the longest 5 days of my life yada yada by spending the entire week in a cave in midvalley fed on UV rays and air cond; i hate to play the reporter so i’ll stop short here. Further speculations on the merging of departments are supposedly good news, since we’ve avoided with a few “unwanted” departments (but does the rest think highly of us?). yada.

Had a good taste of the searing sun on Friday, clocking up almost 200km on mileage by the day’s end. I appreciate days like these. Driving out in with the view of the eary sun, meeting new people at the stocktake, did some work, and went for a promotion dinner at Hilton, which ironically on our table, the girls were buying and the guys were exposed of their stupendous voracity. It was all very encouraging at first, with the smell of sate, grilled beef and lamb, and some other flashy meats. Any buffet would be disappointing when you find their grilled zucchini finishes on the podium. But bad food can turn good if you blend them with some good company.

The people at the stocktake were hilarious. “Eh bateri pun mau tengok ke?” “Alah, tak rokok, tak jantan la!” “Yang ni penting (pointing at us), yang lain tu biar dia kira sendiri.” “Kotak ni, tiga ratus ribu tau. Boleh beli rumah, kereta, lepas tu dua orang lagi boleh kahwin.”

Colleague did not get his bonus. Maybe freshies like me could hardly bother to find out, but missing out on a bonus the way he did seems rather unfortunate. *** Note to self: Ensure at all times, whenever changing jobs, i will be a confirmed staff before their financial year-end.***

I think i’m getting totally out of whack here; i even feel uninteresting to myself. If i was someone else, i’d hardly want to know me. Playing the ostensible office boy, claiming work to be all-important. There’s a world out there still waiting for me, waiting to be explored. The office aside, all i talk to other people now is about work, the typical “me,me,me” conversations i’ve grown up laughing at. Is it a stage one must forcibly go thru and evolve into something socially acceptable? “Something” sounds about right, since i think this process is dehumanizing me.

For all the pragmatism i’ve so come to admire, i simply cannot faithfully practice as such. There is an idea, albeit an abstract of sorts and idealistic fragmentation, where this world could operate by, but rejected its notion for the right to the “true-r” sense of freedom.

still to be continued….

mind your language

Bought lotsa DVDs yesterday. This is as straight-to-the-point as i’ll get, getting myself all the movies i’ve not been able to watch from the time i came back from Sydney. The Prestige, Blood Diamond, Babel, Little Miss Sunshine, Twelve and Holding, Days of Glory, Flags of Our Fathers and… a Mind Your Language boxset.

Yes, that’s right, the infamous Mr. Brown at the classroom, teaching assorted foreign fruit tarts, in what is a simple, divine comedy. While the production is ancient, the cast nowhere to be heard of, and i’m quite sure its most famous character other than Mr. Brown himself had passed away if i remembered correctly, Mind Your Language is the series i’ve been always looking out for. Torrents have forgotten about them.

653 mins of pure joy!

what the world needs now

Burt Bacharach’s songs doesn’t normally haunt people; many hit pop oldies were the result of his poetry. But upon listening to his collaboration with Elvis Costello on the exquisite “What the World Needs Now is Love”, it became addictive far beyond the poppish likings of a catchy song. If you knew me better (or my tastes), it’s these songs that make me tick, fizzle, tick again and fizzle out later, before coming onto a realisation that i could probably make something out of this. It’s the arrangement, the use soft-loud interchange of vocals on emphasis between Burt and Elvis, the sudden quickfire drumming and soothing piano playing, expertly screwing your mind over with its haunting lyrics and pacing of the words. Reminds me particularly of “Heroin”, a cult Velvet Underground track.

I don’t admit to knowing what this world needs; but i secretly believe that it’s God. My subservient nature dictates the way i feel, but there’s a long way to come to the realisation before happiness becomes a thing you acquired when you know that God is behind you if you were to lean or fall, and ready to catch you in His arms. 

An article in Christian Today quoted:

“The one thing that is so noticeable about Valentine’s Day is that it is ALL about a person called me. That’s right. Me. “Have I found love?” “Did I lose it?” “Does anyone love me?” “I don’t really care…But why does no one love me?!” And on it goes. Even if we are in a loving, secure relationship it still tends to me about me – “Oh thank God, someone loves me!”

I’m not the most pragmatic of people, in fact my base is fortified by theory. The real world is a vicious place, and i’m starting to adapt. I have got a long way to run, and i hope i’ll get the enjoy the scenery with the people i care about. I still believe in the ways of self-sacrifice as the most sacred act of love, not in the same veins as Jesus dying for us, but putting the interests of others before yours. We find the perfect justification for it in the name of happiness. “It’s everyone’s right to be happy, so screw you!”.  

Some people still think i’m crazy; why don’t i just fly to london? Airliners burn huge quantities of fossil fuel and are now the fastest-growing contributor to global warming. Flying emits CO2 directly to the atmosphere. The damage is amplified with the increase in short-haul, budget flying since much fuel is burnt trying to reach the cruising height. I plan to reach London without flying, just taking trains and buses. The itinerary is very much in the planning and budgeting phase. Besides, i’m not very young, and not intent on spending the best years of my life striving to be a millionaire. I might not be bright, but i know what to do with my life. High on my to-do list isn’t to become a Director of a so and so MNC, but rather more fulfilling things (to me) like writing and travelling. KL – London – KL sounds like the most exciting plan i have to date. Sign a flight pledge here today

An idea of how much fun of not travelling non-sensically via an airplane:

‘Leaving Madrid on the overnight train to Paris, and having a superb meal and glass of wine in the dining car while watching the sun set over the mountains cannot be beaten as a way to finish a holiday.’

I’d surely love to complete a 2nd degree now, but i still believe in the value of the practical experience i must endure and make good of, because of the mis-match of my perceptivity and my ability to take action. Doing and understanding what needs to be done are simply different. Perhaps UTS might be my next destination again, with a Masters in International Studies (which sounds just right, perfectly for fun) or perhaps specialising further, i.e. enrolling in the Institute for Sustainable Futures.

Anyway, before my dear friend Dee gives up on me, i’d better complete my writings and send her an email.

short, saturday afternoon rant

In one of the previous post i was spouting some of the writings of Freud, about existence somewhat, some ask the pointlessness of having a blog that no one cares to read.

”I’m here, you can find me, it proves existence. How i exist, is none of anyone’s business.”