It was time to kick myself for wasting away; life was on the edge and yet it was still a blur. I embarked on a (very) personal journey, to rid myself of being in depression. In my very little own world, joys and sorrows are measure by my standards, and experiencing harrowing highs and lows in daily flashes were self-destructive. Four months into California, the ridding of my self-pity was almost complete. Solitude was madness; but bartending, or at least working at the bar, was my life-saver. Right next door was a Ramen noodle shop, whose demographics were limitless unlike its neighbouring bar. Working right next door was Minami, or Mimi for short, a girl that anyone would love to pamper. Her large round eyes seemed to be begging whenever she’s asking for something, and she smiles rain or shine, in pain, defeat, in joy, in doubt and other unconceivable circumstances. The only annoying part about her was her idolization of Hollywood. In all the small chatter with her, I found out how much she wishes to be someone else, to be a diva walking on red carpet or whatnot. The reason she absolutely adores ‘I am Sam’ was Dakota Fanning whom she thought was stunning; I thought the performances were stunning nonetheless, but it was the immense use of the Beatles on the soundtrack was what captivated me more, in particular, ‘Across the Universe’.
Thursday, the night of 4th June, I succumbed to my landlord’s belittling, leading to the obvious conclusion that I was now homeless. I moved my belongings down to the bar, with the idea of turning it into my temporary shack. It was at this moment, where the basic need for survival, namely, a home, was of utmost importance, that a gleaming pair of eyes turned its sight upon me. At the footsteps of the Ramen noodle shop, Mimi stood and watched as I slowly stumbled next to her, where she invited me to her place for the night ‘since we could go to work together the next day’. What a premise. But I admired her kindness and was not ready to turn her down under current circumstances. The implications of the situation I have not fully come to terms yet dwindled with her charm, where we laughed off about our fortunes, about how we’re not even close to realizing who we are or who we could be. She prepared her famous Ramen noodles to my delight, at the same time hilariously performed a number of scenes from a Japanese movie that I bet she has watched a dozen times. If there was one thing she made me feel, it’s that I felt more alive, more conscious about existence, life and relationships with people. How is she able to withstand being with a half-assed bartender, still without a real job or aim in life, who cannot yet decide between watching Jerry Maguire or Fight Club even after finishing a hearty bowl of Ramen? The answer was probably in that I may not be as worthless as I seemed to be and that her kindness was overlooked and deemed an over-eagerness to be loved. We nuzzled onto the sofa bed, with the TV playing The Mexican, as we carelessly talked about nonsensical ideas like being famous or dating the famous. It was a topic which would have put me to sleep instantly, but for her curiosity and kindness, I repaid by being attentive. I woke up with the bright summer skies in full bloom, wishing the clouds would exercise care in allowing sunlight to invade people’s privacy. When I had fully shaken from being immobilized in sleep, I found myself under my petite host, her head lying on my stomach, her arms wrapped around my back, softly breathing and enjoying her rest. I’ll always remember how enormous those feelings being pinned back were, how long that moment seemed to feel, and how deeply appreciated I was by her tenderness. I smiled at her, though she was not looking. She had taken over me.
