It felt like murder. The feelings were suppressed, inside of me, the extraterrestial ambiguous feelings that you had no idea you were capable for, all the while enveloping me as a lay next to the one i loved. It is never easy, never easy dealing with a feeling like that while being so close to the one you love. But there i was, with the craziest thoughts zooming about like a crazy horse leaving a blazing trail. I had to write. I had to write. It was murder.
I could not get my hands away without waking her up. The idea was not to understand why i was feeling this way, but the solution was a temp release. Beg your pardon but as i’m writing this, of course some words would have a shortened length as i would like to get my meanings across to whoever cared to listen. Perhaps, at the root of it all, there was nothing to feel to begin with. Life goes on, like a neverending tide, and the sea breeze that comes with it. You could not measure time, or rather, the meaning of time. So what happened in the last 5 minutes? I murdered my thoughts and my will to write. Closed my eyes. Continued to feel powerless. And then surrender fate, and my life to God. And when i get to heaven, i’ll be sure to notice that there were only ONE set of footprints there on the beach called Life, during this timeless moment. Timeless i say, because it was only 5 minutes, but 5 minutes which felt like murder.
